_{She stumbles}

I got on a plane, I packed up everything.
I believed in something bigger then me.

I lost, but got a few runner up prizes.

Edmonton is unraveling before my eyes, picking up speed as I lay my head down each night.
People wonder why I find it hard to sleep. I could stay, sure. Maybe. Right?
I could find some roommates, I could make some new friends, I could go to school.

Why?

My body is revolting, me chest is panicking and I can't find the break glass in an emergency.
I'm looking for escape roots, I'm pulling old strings I am frantically searching for shore.
If I was to stay for school that would be four years at a place that doesn't grab me or excite me for four years and with no ties, and the lacking outside support could I hack it? If I stay for two years and avoid school what will I have to show for it? Empty times, faked ties to a place that from the start never liked me like I loved it. It's that scornful crush that knows you're begging inside and they find it all the more reason to kick you as they pass by.

Yes I have been happy here, but at such a cost.
I'm starting to see at to much of a cost.

Yes were do I wander?
Do you not see that slowly I've let go, been pushed away and had all claims forsaken on me?
There is no home base, no home, no back up plan.

There isn't even a plan ticket anymore.

Do I run back to Ottawa, and then for what? It wouldn't be right.
Do I try for Wales again? Do I give in and do the all female course in the UK for 6 months.
If they after two years of nothing will still take me?
Bermuda has become to rich for my blood, and what would I do?
It's a trap waiting to happen.

So I am left with Canada in away, but what way?
I am left with the UK, but it's so big and I was always so lost or trying to run away.
I am left with the usual left and right fields - New Zealand and Germany < or the rest of the world if it will have me>

Yet my Mum is mostly based in Bermuda, my family to scattered, Denmark to scary right now.
So do I keep Edmonton like a bad dream and pray? Yet with out that girl, with out those dreams, I am left with out family and even if I find love, even if I find friends I will always be so far out of the collection, the connection.

I am forever paying the price.

Lost and Found
Love,

Katrine


_{and the crowed lets her fall}